If there's one thing I dislike, it's calculus. Unfortunately, there are many more things that I dislike. I'd say the number of things I dislike is rapidly approaching a bazillion. One of these near bazillion things are when old ladies try to hide their wrinkly faces. Maybe "hide" isn't the best word. I don't mean that they submerge their heads into sand like an ostrich or something (I'm now picturing an ostrich and I just realized how weird they look. They're just two giant legs, a fluffball body, a giant neck, and a tiny head with a big ol' bill-beak. For some reason, the ostrich I'm picturing also has giant eyelashes. Oh, now it's Chris Bosh. Chris Boshtrich), I just mean I don't like it when they can't accept the fact that they're getting old and try to get rid of their wrinkles. I have no problem if someone is applying magic wrinkle reducing cream - or whatever it is - religiously; it's when someone pays for surgery to get rid of their wrinkles. Are you kidding me? You're going to get surgery just to get rid of wrinkles. Are you aware that wrinkles are in no way detrimental? You know what you should do instead of surgery? You should take a clothes iron and iron your face. That'll get the wrinkles out and save you money, unless you're planning on treating your burns. Personally, I'd say leave them - you'd look scarier had you gotten a face lift, and the burns would serve as a reminder to how shallow you are. Seriously, when you get old, your face wrinkles - it's natural. Face lifts are unnatural. Unnatural = creepy. Ergo, face lifts = creepy. Just embrace your wrinkles, yo.
I feel as though this post pertains to exactly zero of the people that actually read my blog. Oh well. I guess this is just for future reference, ladies.
Also, fellas, if you're also contemplating a face lift, just...no. No.
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