Maxwell Strikes Again

You guys remember my car, Maxwell, yes? How he tried to kill me while simultaneously committing suicide? Well, I'm beginning think that Maxwell doesn't like me very much because he struck again today. Here's how it happened.

I was watching some basketball on TV when, suddenly, I realized I had to poop. I got up and walked over to the bathroom only to realize that there was no toilet paper! Welp, that settled that - I had to go to Walmart to buy some toilet paper. I also had a paycheck to deposit, so I decided to make an outing of it. I put on some pants and a coat, went out to my car and started him up. Maxwell hesitated a bit, but eventually we were on our way. I went to the bank first, then to Walmart. As I was getting back into my car I thought to myself, "I'm so freaking good at going to the store, especially when I get to use the self-checkout, because I go so fast! This was such a quick stop!" Well, as I was pulling out of the parking lot, Maxwell sputtered and died. Again. I didn't really know what to do. I was stuck in the left turn lane. I decided to pop the hood so people could see I wasn't just being a jerk and not moving, but rather that something was clearly wrong with my car and I needed help. Nobody stopped. I called my roommate, Ryan, and he came to help me out. We pushed (with the help of one other guy. One other guy. I was there for like ten minutes and only one person stopped to ask if I needed help. Brookings...people (Brookians? Brookinginians?) are jerks) Maxwell to the side of the road, and Ryan tried to give him a jump. That didn't help. I called my dad. He suggested I check the oil. Good thing, because there wasn't much oil. Conveniently, I was in a Walmart parking lot. Even more conveniently, I was right behind an Advance Auto Parts store. I picked the auto store as the best place to buy some oil. I bought two quarts, at the instruction of my dad, and poured the first one in. That didn't work. I poured the second quart in. That didn't work either. I called my dad again to tell him that oil was not the problem (though it probably would've been, eventually, since there was very little of it in my car). Ryan suggested we go ask the guys at Advance if they could look at it to figure out the problem. Pretty solid idea, so we tried that. Unfortunately, there were no mechanics in at that time, but the guy behind the counter suggested that maybe I was out of gas. If you remember, Maxwell's gas gauge is broken so I guess it was possible that I ran out of gas, but I have a system. I reset the odometer after filling up every time, and I don't let it get to 300 miles. I was at 252 miles, so I was close, but I still had a ways to go. But, I had tried all the other suggestions, so I figured I might as well try this one, too. The guy said I should buy the 5 gallon gas can because something with something else...I don't know. I trusted him, though. Of course, since the 5 gallon one is the biggest one, it's also the most complicated one. Ryan took me to go fill up the gas can, but I couldn't figure out how to put the cap on. It's a two part cap where the spout goes inside the cap, then the cap goes on. It wasn't actually that hard to figure out. However, figuring out how to get the gas from the can to my tank was incredibly hard to figure out. The instructions were something like: 1. Twist green ring to the right to unlock. 2. Pump the spout. 3. Twist green ring to the right again until it locks. I don't remember what 4 was because I didn't make it that far. The green ring would not lock. Step 3 was impossible. Eventually I yelled at the gas can, "Today suuuuuuuuucks!" Conveniently, someone was walking to their car, which was next to mine, at that exact moment and asked if I needed help with something. "Ummm, yeah, actually. Do you think you can figure out how this gas can works?" I wonder how stupid that guy thought I was at that time. However, he couldn't figure it out, either, so now he probably doesn't think I'm that stupid. Ryan eventually figured it out, we got the gas in my car, and I tried starting it. It started. It was gas the whole time. I drove to the gas station, filled up, and went home. It was 4:30. I had to work at 5:00. I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO POOP. The only reason I drove anywhere was so that I could get toilet paper to poop, and I couldn't poop until I got done with work.

Maxwell's sleeping outside tonight.

Belated Posts #2: Camp Poops

As I said in my previous post, camp is now over. However, I have some untold stories I'd like to tell regarding camp. This one is about Camp Poops. Okay, it's actually called Camp Hoops, but say that kind of fast. It sounds like Camp Poops, doesn't it? Yes. Yes it does. This year, camp decided to have a bunch of specialty camps. For instance, there was Horse Camp, Music and Drama Camp, some other camps that I can't remember, and Camp Poops. I'm not entirely sure why, out of all of the camps, Camp Poops was the one where Camp was the first word, but whatever. Since my domination at the game of lightning is pretty much legendary, I was asked if I could counsel at Camp Poops. Of course I said yes.

If you've been to either Shores or Green Lake, you probably noticed that our basketball facilities are lacking. Camp Poops was held at Green Lake since it was for kids who are actually old enough to do basketball things. Green Lake has five(?) hoops, but none of them are very nice, and the court is also pretty meh. However, for Camp Poops, the court was repaved and some new hoops were put up. Also, a parking lot was transformed into a a court with four hoops. It was actually really nice. I was impressed. When I saw the parking lot court, I got really excited. I mean, I was going to get to play basketball. It's not like I'm good at basketball or anything, I just really like to play. I guess I'm okay at basketball, just not compared to most people who have actually played basketball.

It turned out, though, that the other two counselors and I didn't even get to play basketball. We didn't even really get to counsel. All we did was make sure the kids got to where they were supposed to be, which usually meant the basketball court. It was frustrating for us, though, because Camp Poops wasn't very coordinated. It took until Wednesday for there to be a set schedule. It didn't help that it rained a few times, so we had to get all of the kids to a gym. Also, for some reason, Camp Poops kids had to stay in different cabins from the rest of the campers. At Green Lake, all of the campers stay in a lodge with different rooms. Camp Poopers (those who were part of Camp Poops) had to stay in actual cabins, which I was totally fine with, except we only had one shower. One shower for nine sweaty kids is not ideal. Somehow, all of us, including me, managed to shower in one hour. I was so proud. Another bad thing about being secluded from the rest of camp was that our banquet for the end of the week was lame. Usually everyone dresses up, but since it was just a bunch of guys, we had no one to dress up for. Also, our cabins were not air conditioned, and we needed air conditioning more than everyone. Granted, the rooms in the lodge aren't air conditioned, either, but the dining hall in the lodge is. Whatever. Camp Poops was still fun. I got to hang out with the Green Lake staff, which I normally don't get to do, and I got a sweet shirt. I'd say that's pretty worth it.

Oh, I almost forgot. It was decided that I'm a little baby and need to have a friend from Shores come with me to work at Green Lake. Mic-Mac was chosen. I feel like that was a great choice, but it was kinda dumb because I was secluded from actual camp things most of the time. Oh well. We played a few games of LOL/WOW/MOM, and it was awesome.