Driving Dilemma (We'll Meet Again)

Okay, so, this just happened:

I was sitting at home, just watching some TV, when I got a text from a friend. The text said something like, "My house at 8:30 if you're still on break!" and I thought, "Hey, I'm still on break! This applies to me!" So, at 8:15, I headed out the door to journey to my friend's house. It takes me about 35 minutes to get to his house in Litchfield from my house in Cold Spring. I was going to be a little late, but he'd get over it. I turned on my car and noticed the battery light was on. Well, I'm no mechanic, so I just thought, "Psh, whatever, Maxwell (that's what I named my car)! You turned on, so that's all that matters!" I got out of town and was going 59 mph with the cruise control on, jamming out to some tunes on my iPod, which was plugged into my car via an auxiliary cord. I had my brights on, you know, because it was dark, and I realized that my dashboard lights were a little bit dimmer than normal. I turned my brights off, and the dashboard lights got a bit brighter. "Ha, problem solved," I thought. I continued on my way for a few more miles, and I realized I was slowing down. I thought that was pretty weird, considering the cruise control was on. Then I realized that the cruise control had turned itself off. A few seconds later, the radio turned itself off. I decided I should call my dad to inform him of my current predicament, so, pulling off to the side of the road, I made the call to my dad and explained the situation.

"Where are you?" my dad asked.

"Um, on the side of the road."

"Well, yeah, but where are you?"

"Um, I don't know." There aren't many landmarks between Cold Spring and Litchfield, and the way I go, there aren't any towns, either. I knew where I was, but I didn't know how to explain it to my dad, so I just said, "I don't know." Sometimes I think people think I'm less intelligent than I actually am because I'll do things like this, but really, I'm more intelligent than they think I am, because I know they won't understand what I'm saying, because I'm so intelligent.

"Oh, well just come back home and call me if you don't make it." I'm pretty sure the "if you don't make it," was referring to if I don't make it back to town, not if I die.

About a minute after I turned around, my lights turned themselves off. Like, my headlights. Like, the things that allow me to see the road/where I'm going. So, I'm driving with no lights on at about 8:30 at night. It's dark. I can't see. There were no cars on the road when I was driving towards Litchfield. On my way back to Cold Spring, though, there definitely were cars on the road. Every single car that drove by me flashed their brights at me. Yes, I am aware that my lights are off, but who's in more danger, here? You, who can see the road and see me coming because you have lights, or me, who cannot see anything because A. my lights are off, and B. you're blinding me with your stupid high beams? That's right - me. Guess what - it's now more likely that you will die, because I might veer off into your lane because I can't see. Or, I might veer off into your lane because YOU ARE BLINDING ME WITH YOUR HIGH BEAMS AND I HOPE YOU DIE.

So, that was happening, and I was trying to maneuver my way back home. Everything in my car was not working. Well, that's not true. The brakes, the accelerator, and the steering wheel still worked. Until I got back to Cold Spring. As soon as I entered Cold Spring, the accelerator and the steering wheel stopped working. "This is highly unfortunate," I thought, because those are pretty vital parts to a car. I was going down a hill, though, so I thought maybe the accelerator not working wasn't a huge deal. Then I remembered that there was a turn coming up. I have no idea how I managed to will the car around that turn since the steering wheel didn't work, but I did. The car slowly coasted to a stop as I guided it safely to the side of the road. I called my dad. He came and gave me a jump start. As soon as he pulled the cables off of my car, though, the lights started to go dim again. "Quick! Jump in and give it some gas!" implored my dad. I jumped in, but instead of giving it some gas, I accidentally stepped on the brake, which immediately killed my car. Dejected and defeated, my dad told me to grab my stuff from my car and get into his. So there Maxwell still sits, alone and cold, with dead innards. Til we meet again, Maxwell...

Let's say goodbye with a smile, Maxwell,
Just for a while, Maxwell, we must part.
Don't let the parting upset you,
I'll not forget you, sweetheart.

We'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when,
But I know we'll meet again, some sunny day.
Keep smiling through, just like you always do,
'Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away.

So I will say hello to the folks that you know,
I'll tell them you won't be long.
They'll be happy to know that as you saw me go,
I was singing this song.

After the rain comes the rainbow,
You'll see the rain go, never fear,
We two can wait for tomorrow,
Goodbye to sorrow, Maxwell, my dear.

"We'll Meet Again" - Vera Lynn, altered by Joe Russell

Applebee's Adventures

If you know me, you know that I love me some Applebee's. More specifically, I love me some half-apps (half-apps, if you're wondering, are half-priced appetizers. Applebee's has half-apps after 9:00 PM (Note: some Applebee's restaurants do not have half-apps on weekends. Be sure to ask your server about potential half-apps deals)). This past week, there was not one, but two half-apps nights for me. Both times I was accompanied by some great friends, which always makes those half-apps even more delicious (it doesn't make them even more half-priced, though). There were some shenanigans both times. One shenanigan* was pretty funny. The other, however, was just sad.

On Wednesday of last week, a bunch of friends and I went to see a movie, followed by a delicious meal at Applebee's. It's kind of a tradition for us. Anyway, our food was great, our server was patient/nice, etc. Since our server was so patient/nice, I decided I should tip an extra dollar in addition to what I already left as a tip. I pulled out this extra dollar, said, "Make it RAIIIIN!" and tossed it on the table. This dollar had other plans, though. It fluttered away and hit some girls that were walking by our table. So, in essence, I threw a dollar bill at some girls while saying "Make it RAIIIIN!" I've never laughed so hard at something I've done in my life. The sad thing, though, was that the girls didn't react at all. They didn't slow down, look in the direction of our table, look at the dollar, or anything. I mean, if I were walking by a table, and someone said "Make it RAIIIN!" I would look. Even if they didn't throw money at me, I'd look.

The very next night, I went to Applebee's again, this time with camp friends! I wasn't very hungry, but I knew I would be later, so I ordered two half-apps (I usually order two half-apps, but I'm usually hungry enough where I think I can eat two half-apps (I usually can't)). Sure enough, I still had five honey-barbecue boneless wings and two cheeseburger sliders by the time my stomach had reached maximum capacity. I asked for a box; I received two, which I thought was great, because I don't like when my food touches. I put the wings in one box and intricately drizzled ranch over them, so it wouldn't just be a big ol' delicious mess when I opened the box. I had to reconstruct my cheeseburger sliders so I could actually pick them up (Applebee's does a great job at making them delicious, but it's like they were trying to make a salad out of mini cheeseburgers - everything was just kind of there and not assembled in any way). After all of this hard work to ensure I would be fully satisfied when I opened these boxes again, we left. Except I forgot my boxes. That's a pretty decent meal I just left on the table, all neatly organized and such. I didn't even realize what I had done until about 3:00 the next morning, and hear you me, that is a horrible realization to have - especially at 3:00 AM.

*I've never used the singular form of "shenanigans" before. I thought that was worthy of a * sub point thing.** Also, I really just love using these * sub point things.

**Someday, I'm going to learn what the actual name for a * sub point thing is. Someday, but not today.