Awkward Family Photos

On Black Friday, the big thing is shopping the sales, yes? And it's usually crazy busy at stores on this day, yes? Yes. To both of those. However, my family decided it would be a good idea to get some family photos taken. At J.C. Penney's. When I learned this, I wasn't so sure how good of an idea that was, since it was probably going to be pretty busy. You know, with all the people shopping. Since it's a store. And it's Black Friday. In my step-mom's defense, though, she made the appointment a few months ago and didn't realize it was going to be Black Friday. She just knew it was around Thanksgiving and that the whole family would be home.

Turns out, though, that it was, indeed, pretty busy, but it wasn't hectic since our appointment wasn't until like 1:00 or something. We got there pretty early, like at 12:15, so we decided to shop a little bit. And good thing we did! I found some awesome slippers that were originally $30 but were on sale for $20. That's not all, though. When they were rung up, they came up as only $15! Crazy, right?! I know. That was the highlight of my day, for sure. Fortunately, that is not the highlight of this post.

Anyway, the photos, and the awkwardness that accompanied them. The family was my dad, my step-mom, my brothers, my sister, and me. So, it's our turn for pictures. The photographer takes us into the room, looks at my dad and step-mom and says, "So...grandma and grandpa?" Oh. Oh no. Oh, please, no. My dad and step-mom quickly and simultaneously informed her that they were dad and mom, respectively. There was a palpable sense of awkwardness throughout the whole photo shoot after that.

I was also a little offended, because, just continuing on down this photographer's perception of our family tree, I would be married to my sister. Last time I checked, this J.C. Penney's wasn't in Alabama. It's always a little unfortunate when that is assumed, and I feel like it's assumed every time I go anywhere with my sister. I mean, we're both pretty attractive people relatively close in age, so I understand why it happens. But still. My sister is pretty much the worst wingman ever, and she doesn't even know it.

That Awkward Moment (The Anatomy Of "How Are You?")

I'm a fairly awkward person. Not in the way you're thinking, though, probably. You're probably thinking that I make situations awkward. While that is very much true, that's not why I consider myself awkward. Well, that's not the only reason why I consider myself awkward. For some reason, I seem to always find myself in awkward situations. I've decided that could be attributed to coincidence only so much, leaving me to believe that it happens because I'm awkward. It also happens because I over think just about everything, and there are certain things that seem completely harmless until you over think them.

The best example of this happening is when someone asks me how I'm doing, or how I am. I over think it every time. If you've ever talked to me and asked, "How are you?" odds are high that I replied with either, "Pretty good," or, "Not too bad." Those are my standard responses. Sometimes, if things aren't that great, I'll answer with a, "Not too bad." The emphasis on "too" reveals that I'm not spectacular. That's only on very special occasions - when I really feel like venting.

"Joe, how could you possibly over think the question, 'How are you?'" you may or may not be thinking. Well, you see, if I say, "Not so great," or, "Bad," I feel like whoever asked was just being polite; they don't really care how I feel. Or, they don't care enough to listen to me complain about it. If I say, "Bad," I think they think, "Oh, great. Here's Joe with another problem," which is weird, because I don't have that many problems. Heh, okay, I have "problems," but I don't have problems. You know.

On the flip side, if I reply to, "How are you?" with something like, "Fantastic!" or "Terrific!" I feel like the person will think I'm bragging. Especially if they answered that question first with a, "I'm alright," or whatever. Like, I think they'd interpret my answer as if I'd said, "Oh, you're just fine? Well sucks to be you, doesn't it?! I'm phenomenal. Everything in my life is perfect and way better than yours." Consequently, I'll gently lead into whatever it is that is making me so great. The person will ask, "How are you?" and I'll say, "Oh, I'm pretty good. Hey, guess what! I found a jillion dollar bill in my sock this morning! It was the craziest thing! I haven't even worn that sock in 12 years!" That doesn't seem like very good logic, though, because my way seems more braggish.

I think I'll just stop thinking about it and answer the question truthfully from now on:

"How are you?"

"Awkward..."