Food On Sticks

A few weeks ago (that seems to be a theme in my recent posts) a bunch of camp friends and I were going to go to the Minnesota State Fair. I was really excited because I haven't been there in six years, and I really love food on sticks, especially if it's deep fried. However, my involvement in the plan hit a snag.

Since this was near the end of August and school was right around the corner, I decided I should probably check my school email. I hadn't done that since shortly after Summer had started. Sure enough, I had a decent amount of emails, though most of them weren't important. There was one, however, with a bunch of medical stuff that I needed to get done before classes started. Fortunately, I had gotten a physical before Summer started and I was up to date on all my immunizations. However, it said I needed to get a TB test. I had not had one of those ever. For a TB test, you get a little shot right under the surface of your skin. Between 48 and 72 hours later, you go back and get it checked. If there are no bumps around the area you got the shot, you're good to go. The 48-72 hour thing was the major setback, because I read this email on Wednesday, and the State Fair outing was to be on Friday. I set up an appointment for 2:00 on Wednesday, meaning I'd have to wait until 2:00 on Friday to get it checked. We were meeting at 11:00 at the Fair on Friday. Clearly, I would be late, especially considering my appointment was in Litchfield, which is an hour and a half away from the Fairgrounds in the cities. "Oh well," I thought. "At least I'll get to be there for a few hours."

When I got to the doctor's office on Friday, I was told to sit in the waiting room, as is the standard protocol for doctor's office visits. It turned out that they forgot about me, apparently, because I waited for over an hour, which is really fun at the doctor's office because they have...um, magazines! So I read the "ESPN The Magazine" magazine all the way through, then read the longest article over again. I also sat and listened to the old people talk. It is a fact that over 80% of people in a doctor's office at any given time are old. I mean like "over 70" old. One old lady also had to wait for a while, apparently, because she was upset. A nurse finally came for her, and I could hear the lady as she walked back to the room: "I am very upset. I have been waiting and waiting. I am very upset."

"I know, I understand. We're sorry for the inconvenience. Now if you could just step on the scale and we'll measure your height and weight..."

"I came in two days ago and I had to do that. I won't do it. I will. Not. Do it."

"Okay, well, we'll just get your weight then."

After starting that really long magazine article (which was about Matt Kemp of the Dodgers, so I wasn't even that interested in it) for a third time, I decided I should probably see what was going on with my wait. I went up to the receptionist and said, "Excuse me, I've been waiting for over an hour, and all I need is to get my TB test checked."

"You're still here?! I told the nurses three different times that you were ready! I'll take care of this." She left, and I went back to sit. I felt like I handled that really well considering I was furious because I just wanted to eat food on sticks. About a minute later, a nurse hurried in and called my name. The appointment literally took one minute. I held out my arm, she ran her hand over it and said, "Okay, you're good," and I left. It was about 3:30 when I finally left. I pulled out my directions to the Fairgrounds and began my journey. Unfortunately, my directions were from google. You'd think I'd have learned by now. I followed them perfectly until it was literally impossible to do that. They told me to turn left on some street South, but follow the signs for some street North. I couldn't even...I didn't...I had no idea what google was trying to pull, so I just turned left. I drove past the Fairgrounds and ended up parked in some cul-de-sac. I called some camp folk and asked how much longer they would be there. They were just getting ready to leave, which was fine because then I didn't have to pay for parking. They said they were looking for some place to meet up and just hang out, though, which was perfect because I really wanted to see them. We met at a Perkins and ate. Me more so than everyone else because I had anticipated eating a ton of food on sticks and, thanks to the ACMC in Litchfield, MN, I was unable to do that.

The Case Against Google Maps

I don't travel by myself very much. Consequently, when I do travel by myself, I usually don't know how to get to where I am going. If you know me, you know that studying a map would not fall into the category of "my cup of tea." Luckily for people like me, there is such a thing as the internet. A lot of people like to use Google Maps to get directions. I used to be one of those people, but then I got tired of receiving faulty directions. Here are two instances (There are more instances, but I can't remember them. No, really. I'm not lying! (For real, though, I'm not lying)) of Google Maps failing.

In late December of last year (So, last December. Like 3 months ago), the Russell clan was having a family dinner. Like, big family dinner - aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. You get the idea. My dad was appointed, possibly by himself, as the dinner organizer. Not surprisingly, he picked a Chinese restaurant.* I was at my mother's house the night of the dinner, which meant I'd have to drive myself to the restaurant. As per the usual, I did not know how to get to said restaurant. I looked up the address and then got directions from my mom's house to the restaurant via Google Maps. I was a little skeptical of the directions as soon as I saw them. One of the steps in the directions was to make a U-turn. I'm no navigator, but I'm pretty sure U-turns are for when you've missed your turn. If you're putting U-turns in the directions, I feel like you're acknowledging that you suck at giving directions. The worst part is that the U-turn wasn't even necessary, but because I made the U-turn, I got lost. Instead of "make a U-turn at ____ Street," the directions should have said "turn left on _____ Street." Of course, since I followed Google Maps' directions, I was late. By a lot.

Two weeks ago, my mom and I went to a Timberwolves game (That's basketball). However, neither of us knew how to get to the Target Center (Where the Timberwolves play (Basketball)). My mom decided to take charge in finding directions, and did not adhere to my warning about Google Maps. Google's directions brought us to Target Field (Where the Twins play (Baseball)). Admittedly, that's actually pretty close to the Target Center (Basketball), but in reality, that's a horrible job of directioning.** Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades. And shoe-bocce. But NOT directions!

*I've noticed that my dad is really into Chinese stuff, especially their food. I'm trying to decide if this is because he and my step-mom adopted two boys from China, or if he's always been this way, and his lifelong enthusiasm for all things China is what led to the decision to adopt from there. I don't remember him being a huge Chinese food fan, so I'm thinking it may be the former.

**"Directioning" is a new word I made up. It means "giving directions." I didn't want to use "directing" because that reminds me of a director, either musically or businessally (Another word I made up - "pertaining to business"). "Directioning," I feel, clears up any confusion.