I just want to say that if you're reading this, you're South Dakotan, and you actually can drive, mad props, bro. You're one of the few. Keep on doin' you.
I've written a post about South Dakotans and their inability to function appropriately behind the wheel of a vehicle before. I didn't, however, offer ways for South Dakotans to better themselves as drivers. It's understandable, then, that they still can't drive. I'm going to try to remedy that.
First, though, I have a question. I don't really understand the process that people go through in South Dakota to get their license. Is there actually a process? Does the State Government just send everyone their driver's license regardless of qualifications? Like, "Oh, it's your 12th birthday today*? Here's your driver's license! Good luck out there!" I honestly think that's how it works here. That's now how it should work. I feel like before someone tries to do something that could potentially lead to the death of his/herself and other people, that person should probably learn how to do said thing. There are very basic things that less than 5% of the state's population is capable of doing in a vehicle. I'll give you guys the rundown.
1. Turning, Part 1: Lanes, Part 1
When you turn, there's usually something called a "turning lane." The lane, itself, does not turn. Rather, you are to navigate yourself and your vehicle into this lane to get out of the way of people who are not turning. If you don't move into the turning lane, you're kind of just being a jerk because you're blocking people from going straight by coming to a complete stop to wait for oncoming traffic, and then turning.
2. Turning, Part 1: Lanes, Part 2
When turning onto a street that has multiple lanes in one direction, always turn into the lane closest to you. For example, if you're turning right onto a 4-lane street (two going in each direction), turn into the lane that is most on the right, or "closest to the curb," if you don't know directions. If you're not from South Dakota and you think about it, it makes sense. If you are from South Dakota, I'll explain. If you turn right and turn into the correct lane, a person who is turning onto the same road from the opposite direction can turn into his or her lane at the same time, and nobody will die. If you turn into the wrong lane, you will probably hit the other person turning and everyone involved will die.
3. Turning, Part 2: Blinkers
Literally every single vehicle that can be legally driven in towns (towns are where people live) has a blinker. A blinker, also known as a "turn signal," signals to other drivers that you are going to turn. Wait, what?! Crazy, right? You can actually tell other people that you're going to turn without actually telling them. This way, people (me) won't get mad when they're waiting for you to drive past so they can turn onto a street, only to realize that you're actually turning and not stopping them from turning at all or when you slow down for seemingly no reason and then turn. You see, it seems like there's no reason to your slowing down because you aren't signaling that you're going to turn.
4. Street Signs
These fun things are actually helpful. The point of their existence is to help you as a driver. For example, the sign that says no left turns isn't just saying that to inconvenience you. It's telling you not to make a left turn because you're going to wait there forever, because traffic is ridiculous all the time. However, when you, South Dakotan, inevitably disregard that helpful tip, you keep everyone else from properly making a right turn. And we (I) hate you for it.
5. Speed Limits
Okay, I acknowledge this one isn't just for South Dakotans, but they still need help here. Acceptable speed is +/- 5 mph of the speed limit. That's just kind of a general rule. However, a lot of times people do not adhere to his rule. One time I was literally passed in town because I was going 30 mph in a 25 mph zone, which is a HUGE no-no. Guys, passing in town (remember, towns are where the people live) is a horrible idea BECAUSE TOWNS ARE WHERE THE PEOPLE LIVE. Do you understand this? Your odds of killing someone are way higher in a town because, you know, people live there. Conversely, if you're driving 15 mph in a 35 mph zone (WHICH HAS HAPPENED AN INFURIATING AMOUNT OF TIMES) does not make you any friends. You actually lose friends when you do this, because everyone hates when you do this.
*Today I swear I saw a 12-year-old child driving a truck, which is horrifying on so many levels. Sadly, I wasn't even surprised because, I mean, South Dakota.
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
The CRAXIS
The other day I took a test. It was a test that I needed to pass in order to become a teacher. Since I signed a waiver saying I wouldn't talk about what was on this test, let's call this test the CRAXIS.
In the weeks leading up to the CRAXIS, I was trying to gain some knowledge on this test. I asked people who had taken it if it was comparable at all to the ACT. They said it was. I did pretty well on the ACT; I got a 30, not to brag or anything (that is completely to brag. I probably did better than you). I also didn't study for the ACT. Therefore, I decided I didn't need to study for the CRAXIS.
However, I was informed that there would be questions about theories and theorists, and if there's an area in teaching with which I am not confident, it is theories and theorists. I decided to go online to take a practice CRAXIS, mostly just to see how I would do, not to see what I should study. Unfortunately, there wasn't a practice test for the kind of CRAXIS I was taking. There was a "study companion," though. I figured this study companion could just study for me, since, if it were a person and was my study companion, that's what would happen. It didn't work that way, though. It wasn't even really a study thing. It just told me what would be on the CRAXIS. This was extremely convenient because that's all I really wanted to know, and I certainly did not want to study. On top of that, this study companion told me that the CRAXIS would consist of 90 multiple choice questions, none of which dealing with theories or theorists, and nothing else. That's right - only multiple choice questions. I could probably guess my way to passing it! I wouldn't need to, though, because everything not related to theories or theorists has now become a part of my very being.
The day of the CRAXIS finally came, and I didn't know where it was. I mean, I did, but I didn't. I had the address, but it was in Sioux Falls and I don't know how to navigate Sioux Falls. The fact that I didn't know where it was made me nervous - much more nervous than I was for the actual test because that was just going to be 90 multiple choice questions, none of which regarding theories or theorists.
Another thing about having the CRAXIS in Sioux Falls is that Sioux Falls has a Taco Bell. Now, I've been heard saying that I hate Taco Bell, but that was in my youth, when I was young and foolish. At this point in my life, I love Taco Bell. Eating at Taco Bell was second on my daily goals list, behind finding the place where the CRAXIS was going to be taken.
I found the CRAXIS place (Taco Bell was right on the way!) and walked up to the desk to check in. The lady gave me a waiver to sign saying I wouldn't reveal what was on the test. This was by far the hardest part of the CRAXIS because I had to copy an entire paragraph in cursive. I've written a post on cursive writing before, but I don't think it's on here, which is too bad because it was really good. Anyway, yeah, I can't remember how to write in cursive very well. The study companion said nothing about writing in cursive.
It only took me about 20 minutes to copy the paragraph with inventive cursive. I handed the lady the waiver and finished checking in. I was walked to my computer (this CRAXIS was online) and then left to complete the CRAXIS. There were a few screens of instructions, the last one told me what would be on the test. It said there would be 90 multiple choice questions, AS WELL AS THREE CONSTRUCTED-ANSWER QUESTIONS! "Constructed-answer" is just a fancy way of saying "essay," in case you were wondering. I figured I'd worry about those questions when I got to them. I got through the first few multiple choice questions pretty easily. I was working my way through the CRAXIS, thinking to myself, "Hey, at least there aren't any questions about theories and theor-OH COME ON!" A question near the beginning dealt with a theorist and his theory. There were a few others scattered throughout the test as well. What was the point of that study companion even existing? Do they want people to fail the CRAXIS? Who are they, even? THIS IS WHY I NEVER STUDY! It turned out, though, that the constructed-answer questions were the easiest, so the joke's on YOU, study companion.
After the CRAXIS, I indulged in the deliciousness of Taco Bell, and crossed everything off of my daily goals list.
In the weeks leading up to the CRAXIS, I was trying to gain some knowledge on this test. I asked people who had taken it if it was comparable at all to the ACT. They said it was. I did pretty well on the ACT; I got a 30, not to brag or anything (that is completely to brag. I probably did better than you). I also didn't study for the ACT. Therefore, I decided I didn't need to study for the CRAXIS.
However, I was informed that there would be questions about theories and theorists, and if there's an area in teaching with which I am not confident, it is theories and theorists. I decided to go online to take a practice CRAXIS, mostly just to see how I would do, not to see what I should study. Unfortunately, there wasn't a practice test for the kind of CRAXIS I was taking. There was a "study companion," though. I figured this study companion could just study for me, since, if it were a person and was my study companion, that's what would happen. It didn't work that way, though. It wasn't even really a study thing. It just told me what would be on the CRAXIS. This was extremely convenient because that's all I really wanted to know, and I certainly did not want to study. On top of that, this study companion told me that the CRAXIS would consist of 90 multiple choice questions, none of which dealing with theories or theorists, and nothing else. That's right - only multiple choice questions. I could probably guess my way to passing it! I wouldn't need to, though, because everything not related to theories or theorists has now become a part of my very being.
The day of the CRAXIS finally came, and I didn't know where it was. I mean, I did, but I didn't. I had the address, but it was in Sioux Falls and I don't know how to navigate Sioux Falls. The fact that I didn't know where it was made me nervous - much more nervous than I was for the actual test because that was just going to be 90 multiple choice questions, none of which regarding theories or theorists.
Another thing about having the CRAXIS in Sioux Falls is that Sioux Falls has a Taco Bell. Now, I've been heard saying that I hate Taco Bell, but that was in my youth, when I was young and foolish. At this point in my life, I love Taco Bell. Eating at Taco Bell was second on my daily goals list, behind finding the place where the CRAXIS was going to be taken.
I found the CRAXIS place (Taco Bell was right on the way!) and walked up to the desk to check in. The lady gave me a waiver to sign saying I wouldn't reveal what was on the test. This was by far the hardest part of the CRAXIS because I had to copy an entire paragraph in cursive. I've written a post on cursive writing before, but I don't think it's on here, which is too bad because it was really good. Anyway, yeah, I can't remember how to write in cursive very well. The study companion said nothing about writing in cursive.
It only took me about 20 minutes to copy the paragraph with inventive cursive. I handed the lady the waiver and finished checking in. I was walked to my computer (this CRAXIS was online) and then left to complete the CRAXIS. There were a few screens of instructions, the last one told me what would be on the test. It said there would be 90 multiple choice questions, AS WELL AS THREE CONSTRUCTED-ANSWER QUESTIONS! "Constructed-answer" is just a fancy way of saying "essay," in case you were wondering. I figured I'd worry about those questions when I got to them. I got through the first few multiple choice questions pretty easily. I was working my way through the CRAXIS, thinking to myself, "Hey, at least there aren't any questions about theories and theor-OH COME ON!" A question near the beginning dealt with a theorist and his theory. There were a few others scattered throughout the test as well. What was the point of that study companion even existing? Do they want people to fail the CRAXIS? Who are they, even? THIS IS WHY I NEVER STUDY! It turned out, though, that the constructed-answer questions were the easiest, so the joke's on YOU, study companion.
After the CRAXIS, I indulged in the deliciousness of Taco Bell, and crossed everything off of my daily goals list.
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