Classic: Power Outage

Yesterday was pretty hot, yes? Also humid? Consequently, a lot of people had their air conditioners on, which is perfectly acceptable. However, in my mom's neighborhood, since so many people were using their air conditioners at the same time, the power went out. Twice. Let's delve a little deeper, shall we?

When I woke up yesterday, I wanted nothing more than to watch sports. I turned on the TV and flipped it over to ESPN, because that's a sports channel. Much to my chagrin, Wimbledon (that's tennis) was on. "Well, I guess I'll settle for whatever is on ESPN2," I thought. Oh no - it's Wimbledon here, too. Bad news bears. There was nothing else on any other channel that interested me, either, so I watched some tennis. Guys, tennis isn't nearly as bad as I thought it was. That's not saying a whole lot, though, because I thought tennis was the most boring sport to watch. It's not, but after a while when I saw that the replay of the Twins game from the night before was on, I did not hesitate to switch to that. I already knew we had won the game, what the score was, and how we scored, but I didn't actually see us score the runs, so I thought this would hold my attention. I really wanted to see Josh Willingham and Trevor Plouffe hit their home runs, because when the game was actually happening the night before, I turned it on right as Willingham was rounding the bases and again right after Plouffe touched home plate. It got to Willingham's at bat. I said to my mom, "I bet Willingham hits a home run right here," and that's when the power went out. Classic. All I wanted to do was see the home run. Just my luck. I guess I have it pretty good, though, if I use the phrase, "just my luck" because I missed seeing a home run that had already happened. I guess it could've been much worse, but I'm not sure how. The power came back on a few hours later and that was that.

At two in the morning, however, the power went back off, presumably because of the same thing, i.e. people using their air conditioners. As soon as it turned off, I woke up. How do I know this? Because I watched the blades of my fan slowly spin to a stop which brought tears to my eyes because it was like my fan had just died. Also because I was now awake and was very aware that the temperature would rapidly rise, which it did. Despite the fact that this power outage woke me up, made me hot, and prevented me from falling back asleep, I was still more distraught about the first one. That's actually mildly disconcerting and makes me question my priorities.

And now, a relevant joke:

Q: When does Sean Connery go to Wimbledon?
A: Tennish.

Comin' In Hot

I've heard that when someone has nothing about which to talk they often talk about the weather. Guess what, you guys - this post is about weather. I'm actually a little ashamed that I'm writing a post about weather considering how agitated I become when I see a simple Facebook status about the weather. I have legitimate concerns about the potential weather this summer, though, and I feel like I just need to vent.

As most of you who live in the Midwest have noticed, the weather this winter was very unusual. I'm pretty sure there were exactly zero -20° days. Honestly, I'm not sure if it ever went below zero. What? Crazy, right? Well, brace yourselves, it gets crazier. In March, we reached 80° a couple of times. 80 degrees. That's borderline hot. That got me thinking - if it was this warm in March, how hot is it going to be in July, when I'm at camp with no air conditioning and fans that are defunct at best? With children that will complain about the heat almost as much as I will?Okay, not even almost as much as I will, but they'll complain in high pitched voices because they're little kids, and that's just annoying. Sure, camp is located on the shores of a lake, but you can't sleep in a lake, can't hold Bible study in a lake (I'm not sure about that, actually. I think I'll have to ask about that), can't eat meals in a lake, can't play whoop-whoop in a lake (whoop-whoop is a camp game. The best game. Don't tell me bonkers is better, camp folk, we all know whoop-whoop is where it's at), and you can't beat all the campers at lightening (the basketball game) in a lake.

Seriously, though. Usually, it's like 10° in March. I'm no mathematician, but I'm pretty sure 80° is eight times as hot. So, if it's usually 100° in July, that means it'll probably be 800°. 800 degrees! We'll all die!

Knowing full well that I will die this summer, I can still say, with confidence, that I have never been more excited for a summer in my life.

That can be taken cynically (I'm excited to die) or hopeful (it'll be worth dying over, given how fantastic this summer will be). I'll give you a hint as to which one it is - it's the second one.